My older brother, Jake just got home from a date. (he doesn't live at home but he comes home for dinner on Monday nights) He is dating this girl, she is amazing, unique, brilliant, gorgeous, nice, a bit opinionated, but truly awesome! The minute my family met her, we fell in love with her.
My brother naturally doesn't share every single thought on his mind with us. And today when he got home, he seemed too reserved, quiet and gloomy. My parents tried interrogating him about the situation in his relationship, and when he is going to "pop the question." But my brother avoided the questions, and somehow, miraculously digressed. My mother wasn't easily fooled, but she finally dropped the subject.
Something was wrong.
After dinner, my four younger siblings ran for their rooms and their technological entertainment. Jake was getting up, and showing the signs of the urge to get out of the house, but this time my mother came forth with her surprising, N.K.V.D. skill. She put her hands on her waist and shot,
"Sit down! What happened?" Jake looked pitifully helpless. He shot me a look and in response, my mother kicked me out of the room. What, was i too immature to hear the conversation? I conveniently and respectfully, disobeyed my mother and started clearing off the table. (By the way, a tip for life, when someone wants you out of their presence, start cleaning up the place, and then they have no right to kick you out. Works every time.)
"I don't know, Ma. All of a sudden, she dumped me!" My father stifled a shocking laugh. This was unexpected, we were all awaiting the news of a "MAZAL TOV!" not a break up.
It was amusing to watch the immediate transformation of my mother from a merciless military general, to a pitiful and loving, Jewish mother. She took a seat next to Jake and put one arm around him, in effort to show a comforting gesture. But Jake obviously wasn't comfortable. He looked emotionally drained, beaten, and shocked.
"But Jake, these things don't happened all of a sudden. What caused this?" My mother tried. She looked at me accusingly, and i pretended to show that this whole time my face wasn't glued to the scenario, rather it was in concentration of what was the best way to stack the dirty plates.
"Ma, I wish I knew. But i mean it when i say it was out of the clear blue sky. We went to Sam's engagement party together last night. We went as a couple, everyone acknowledged us and gave us obvious hints, that our turn was next. We had a blast! I never saw what was coming next. Then while I was driving her home, she started talking about married life with an "if" instead of a "when.""
My brother took a deep breath, and tried to master all his masculine power to fight back heavy tears.
My father interrupted, "So what? Maybe she got cold feet? Maybe she isn't ready to commit yet?" My mother shook her head, as if the physical motion would rid her of this problem.
"I don't know, Dad. She looked upset, and started accusing me that our relationship isn't stable enough. That i am not reliable enough for her to be dependent on. I don't know. It all sounded ridiculous to me, but she had proofs about our previous fights. Issues that i thought we got over with already, but no. She doesn't think so, our history shows that i am not good enough. She went on for hours, nitpicking my problems while she portrayed herself as the perfect one. The more she spoke, the more she made me realize that if this is what she is going to be doing, then i cannot be married to her. The longer she spoke, the clearer this became. i didn't see this coming!" By now, Jake was wiping furiously at his eyes. We were all processing the shocking turn of events, but the worst was to see Jake overcome by such powerful, dreadful emotions.
"I wanted to yell at her, but i was too stunned to speak. I thought i loved her, but at that moment she seemed like the creature i hated most in the world. By now, we were a long time parked beside her house. At a certain point i asked her to get out of the car, she refused and continued on rambling about our huge potential divorce. I couldn't listen to her further, and literally opened the door for her. She looked confused, but then she collected her things, climbed out of the car, and hurried towards her front door. Only by the time i reached my apartment, did it hit me." My parents were quiet, processing the information. But i felt so bad for Jake. He was crazy about her, this breakup will take him months to recover. I wish i could press some button to rid him of this pain, but all i could do is stack the silverware on the tray. Jake has no choice, but to immerse himself in this pain and mourn for the loss of his happiness. I folded the dirty tablecloth and left the dining room. After i started washing the dishes, i heard Jake walk upstairs.
After i finished clearing up for dinner, i still didn't see him return from upstairs. After i completed my math SAT section, i still didn't see him come back downstairs. After I watched a TV Episode of House, Jake didn't show up. His car was still parked in the drive way. Was he going to sleep at home? Why would he, if he is avoiding the family support? After my parents went to sleep, after i got bored of stalking my crush on facebook, i gave up and walked throughout the downstairs part of the house, shutting off the lights. I tiredly climbed upstairs, but before i turned into my bedroom, i heard strange sounds from the attic bathroom. I forced myself up another story, to find Jake leaning over his elbows on the sink, he was shaking so hard from crying, he couldn't catch his breath. I walked in and hugged him. If he was embarrassed to be crying in front of me, he showed no sigh of it. I was thinking hard for comforting words, but came up with none.
Finally i started mumbling the words of a song i thought would help him,
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller..." My brother only responded, with more hysterical sobs. By now I was supporting him with my weak arms, and was saturating myself in his salty tears.
I don't know how long we stood there in the attic bathroom. A half an hour, an hour, two hours, all night? Me holding him, him sobbing like an 11 months old baby. Who gave the power to people to hurt others so badly? What for? How was this experience helping poor Jake? This confident, six foot two, muscular, handsome Jake fallen to the level of the helpless. I couldn't believe my eyes, and hated the feeling of powerlessness. Of the lack of ability to shut off his pain.
My brother naturally doesn't share every single thought on his mind with us. And today when he got home, he seemed too reserved, quiet and gloomy. My parents tried interrogating him about the situation in his relationship, and when he is going to "pop the question." But my brother avoided the questions, and somehow, miraculously digressed. My mother wasn't easily fooled, but she finally dropped the subject.
Something was wrong.
After dinner, my four younger siblings ran for their rooms and their technological entertainment. Jake was getting up, and showing the signs of the urge to get out of the house, but this time my mother came forth with her surprising, N.K.V.D. skill. She put her hands on her waist and shot,
"Sit down! What happened?" Jake looked pitifully helpless. He shot me a look and in response, my mother kicked me out of the room. What, was i too immature to hear the conversation? I conveniently and respectfully, disobeyed my mother and started clearing off the table. (By the way, a tip for life, when someone wants you out of their presence, start cleaning up the place, and then they have no right to kick you out. Works every time.)
"I don't know, Ma. All of a sudden, she dumped me!" My father stifled a shocking laugh. This was unexpected, we were all awaiting the news of a "MAZAL TOV!" not a break up.
It was amusing to watch the immediate transformation of my mother from a merciless military general, to a pitiful and loving, Jewish mother. She took a seat next to Jake and put one arm around him, in effort to show a comforting gesture. But Jake obviously wasn't comfortable. He looked emotionally drained, beaten, and shocked.
"But Jake, these things don't happened all of a sudden. What caused this?" My mother tried. She looked at me accusingly, and i pretended to show that this whole time my face wasn't glued to the scenario, rather it was in concentration of what was the best way to stack the dirty plates.
"Ma, I wish I knew. But i mean it when i say it was out of the clear blue sky. We went to Sam's engagement party together last night. We went as a couple, everyone acknowledged us and gave us obvious hints, that our turn was next. We had a blast! I never saw what was coming next. Then while I was driving her home, she started talking about married life with an "if" instead of a "when.""
My brother took a deep breath, and tried to master all his masculine power to fight back heavy tears.
My father interrupted, "So what? Maybe she got cold feet? Maybe she isn't ready to commit yet?" My mother shook her head, as if the physical motion would rid her of this problem.
"I don't know, Dad. She looked upset, and started accusing me that our relationship isn't stable enough. That i am not reliable enough for her to be dependent on. I don't know. It all sounded ridiculous to me, but she had proofs about our previous fights. Issues that i thought we got over with already, but no. She doesn't think so, our history shows that i am not good enough. She went on for hours, nitpicking my problems while she portrayed herself as the perfect one. The more she spoke, the more she made me realize that if this is what she is going to be doing, then i cannot be married to her. The longer she spoke, the clearer this became. i didn't see this coming!" By now, Jake was wiping furiously at his eyes. We were all processing the shocking turn of events, but the worst was to see Jake overcome by such powerful, dreadful emotions.
"I wanted to yell at her, but i was too stunned to speak. I thought i loved her, but at that moment she seemed like the creature i hated most in the world. By now, we were a long time parked beside her house. At a certain point i asked her to get out of the car, she refused and continued on rambling about our huge potential divorce. I couldn't listen to her further, and literally opened the door for her. She looked confused, but then she collected her things, climbed out of the car, and hurried towards her front door. Only by the time i reached my apartment, did it hit me." My parents were quiet, processing the information. But i felt so bad for Jake. He was crazy about her, this breakup will take him months to recover. I wish i could press some button to rid him of this pain, but all i could do is stack the silverware on the tray. Jake has no choice, but to immerse himself in this pain and mourn for the loss of his happiness. I folded the dirty tablecloth and left the dining room. After i started washing the dishes, i heard Jake walk upstairs.
After i finished clearing up for dinner, i still didn't see him return from upstairs. After i completed my math SAT section, i still didn't see him come back downstairs. After I watched a TV Episode of House, Jake didn't show up. His car was still parked in the drive way. Was he going to sleep at home? Why would he, if he is avoiding the family support? After my parents went to sleep, after i got bored of stalking my crush on facebook, i gave up and walked throughout the downstairs part of the house, shutting off the lights. I tiredly climbed upstairs, but before i turned into my bedroom, i heard strange sounds from the attic bathroom. I forced myself up another story, to find Jake leaning over his elbows on the sink, he was shaking so hard from crying, he couldn't catch his breath. I walked in and hugged him. If he was embarrassed to be crying in front of me, he showed no sigh of it. I was thinking hard for comforting words, but came up with none.
Finally i started mumbling the words of a song i thought would help him,
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller..." My brother only responded, with more hysterical sobs. By now I was supporting him with my weak arms, and was saturating myself in his salty tears.
I don't know how long we stood there in the attic bathroom. A half an hour, an hour, two hours, all night? Me holding him, him sobbing like an 11 months old baby. Who gave the power to people to hurt others so badly? What for? How was this experience helping poor Jake? This confident, six foot two, muscular, handsome Jake fallen to the level of the helpless. I couldn't believe my eyes, and hated the feeling of powerlessness. Of the lack of ability to shut off his pain.
