Saturday, September 22, 2012

Observing School

This past summer i worked as a counselor for eight whole long weeks. At first when i was given my bunk, i saw a bunch of adorable little fourth graders. As i got to know them better, and observed their behavior at different times, and different activities, i started to develop a definite, confident theory about roles in social settings. Now i am working as a counselor with a non religious middle school. I cant help but compare that in every class, starting from nursery till high school (at least) there is a same formula. What do i mean? A class is a puzzle that is made up of four pieces. 1)Popular-> the kid who dominates, often mean, arrogant(not always) but usually funny, street smart, social, bossy and outgoing. 2)Hassidim-> those are the popular kid's followers. They are on the quieter side, a bit insecure. In most cases they are either a close friend of the rebbe (but lack the bossiness or there cant be two rebbes in one chasidus are reasons for being on the lower step of the ladder.) Unfortunately,they agree with the rebbe on everything, they follow her command and its actually pretty funny if you are observing from a detached point of view. 3)Outcasts->those vary. Misfits either think for themselves and therefore dont fit in, are a bit off on social Que, or are just different. Last but not least, 4)live-thy-own-life-> self confident kids who feel its beneath them to be a chassid, but are not exactly the bossy type, and are not outcasts either. This group swims around between social clicks and are not committed to any one sort of friends. I have observed and been part of this puzzle so many times and in so many different places. Whether it was in Israel, America, or other places, whether it was in kindergarten, elementary, middle or high school. Most often i completed the puzzle as the fourth piece. Now as a counselor, when i walk into the classroom i immediately apply my "puzzle" formula and am able to differentiate which girl plays which role in the class. Also, as a counselor it is smart to become good friends with the rebbe, then the chassidim immediately love you, and having that part of the puzzle on your good side is the best thing you can do in order to successfully achieve the goals of your programs. Social life isn't so technical, simple and clear cut. Of course there are exceptions to everything, however, this "puzzle" formula has never failed to show up in a social setting.

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