Observing Agunah Today

After having an argument with a haredi rabbi, i realized that the ultra orthodox community is ignoring a major problem, which is currently plaguing the Jewish world. Rabbis representing the Modern Orthodox community have come up with a solution that will hopefully help prevent future agunot. However, the rabbinical leadership of the haredi world is choosing to bury their heads in the sand and ignore this issue. The definition of agunah is a woman who is chained to a dead marriage. Her husband is missing, not known to be dead or alive, or simply refuses, as a form of domestic abuse, to grant his wife a get, a Jewish divorce document. The problem with being an agunah is that the woman cannot marry anyone else, or she will be considered an adulteress and any children born of the new union will be considered mamzerim. When a woman enters the chupah ceremony on her wedding day, she voluntarily confines herself to the potential eventuality of becoming an agunah . How can this be prevented? How can a woman get married without worrying about becoming an agunah. Unfortunately, within the realms of the halachic code, there is no answer. There is however, a measure of protection that can be taken. Before a man and a woman marry, they can sign a legal document, a halakhic prenuptial agreement, in which the husband promises to give a get on demand. If he refuses, he will have to pay a certain amount of money for every day he refuses to give the get. This agreement is binding in secular court. Is this a solution? No, but it is a step in the right direction. Throughout history, Jewish marriage laws have evolved. The ketuba, Jewish marriage contract, was a modern concept in the ancient and medieval times when it was introduced. The mere fact that the ketuba granted the woman rights, such as obligations upon the husband to feed and clothe her was unheard of in the rest of the world. This contract was in a sense a prenuptial agreement. If a man refused to adhere to the contract, the woman could use it to sue her husband in court. Rabeinu Gershom, who lived in the late 900's and early 1000's further advanced the rights of women. He established takanot that effect the Jewish woman until the present day. He forbade polygamy, and made it illegal for a man to give his wife a get without her consent. The issue of the agunah is not a new one. During the times of the prophets, men would issue their wives a get before leaving to war as a preventative measure. When Jews lived under the rule of foreign governments centuries later, other issues arose pertaining to agunot. For example, during the Spanish and Portuguese Inquisitions, people were forcibly converted. But what should a woman do if she stayed Jewish but her husband became Catholic? Is she now free to marry or is she an agunah ? During the pogroms of Tach Ve Tat, when a husband went missing, there were many possibilities as to his whereabouts. He could have been butchered somewhere in a Polish forest by the Cossacks or he could have been taken captive and held for ransom, or he might have been sold into slavery in Turkey. How was a woman in the 1600's able to find out whether she was agunah or free? One of the reasons why obtaining a get can be so difficult is because Jewish law stipulates that a get must be given voluntarily. According to Rambam, it is permissible for the Jewish court to beat the man until he gives the get. In his words, “kofin oso ad sheyomar rotzeh ani.” We can beat him until he says that he wants to give the get. Why is this allowed? Because, according to Rambam, a man really does want to give his wife a get, but his yetzerhara, is preventing him from doing so. By beating him, we are freeing him from his evil inclination. This explanation permitted rabbinic courts to hurt a man in order to get a get from him. In the Russian shtetles, whenever a man refused to give a get for unimportant reasons, the Rabbi of the shul ordered that he be beaten up, until he consented to free his wife. This solution does not work in the United States. Jews do not function autonomously. We are bound by American law which does not permit violence in the name of religion. In Israel, however, “get-refusers” are imprisoned, even put in solitary confinement until they grant a get. I have heard stories of certain communities even in America using Rambam's tactics. The issue is big and worldwide. “Get-refusers” are walking the streets in Zurich, Paris, Peru, Canada, Israel, America, Russia, Ukraine, England and unfortunately too many other places. Organizations, speeches and rallies for the “agunah cause” are becoming quite commonplace. The most famous organization dealing with this issue is ORA, Organization for Resolution for agunah. This organization “assists divorcing couples, and promotes the goal that the get must be given unconditionally and in a timely fashion.” Through rallies and other campaigns, they help the “get-refuser” to give in. They have had success but unfortunately not always. One of the projects that ORA has undertaken is sending speakers from the organization to speak in high schools, and inform high school girls of the potential of their becoming agunot. A solution that is halakhakly permitted and advised by many great rabbis including Rabbi Herschel Shechter and Rabbi Mordechai Willig, is to sign a prenuptial agreement. I will illustrate how this prenup works. Chaim and Malka want to get married and they sign a “prenup.” A few years down the road, Malka wants a divorce, but Chaim does not. He refuses to give Malka a get. However he signed this document, and now he owes her $200 for every day he doesn't give her a get, by Jewish law as well as by New York State Law. Many people oppose the prenuptial agreement. They feel that when they are getting married, they are celebrating the happiest of times. They do not want to suspect their future spouse of ever refusing to, G-D forbid, give a get. However, the head of ORA, Jeremy Stern said, “Signing this “prenup” is not for you, as much it is for the communal standard. This “prenup” is like a vaccine, which will help us eradicate the agunah problem. Divorces are a reality in our community. We must do everything we can and make “prenups” acceptable. “Modern Agunah” is a new concept, since previously, a man was either beaten up or put in cherem. Beit Din was much more easily able to free the woman. Today, however, with the lack of central Rabbinical authority, cherem is a weak and ineffective tactic. Another difference between the old agunah and the modern agunah, is that in the last 50 years divorce rates have increased, and so too has the agunah issue.” The two, unfortunately, go hand in hand, where yesterday divorces were uncommon, so were the agunahs uncommon. But today, we live in a new reality. In order for every Jewish girl to have the option of walking to her chuppah without the threat of “agunaism” hovering over her head, every Jewish girl must demand that her chatan sign this prenuptial agreement. Maybe people are afraid because this sounds like something new, and Jews are not apt to change. However, times have changed. Too many men abuse halacha. They try to squeeze every penny from the wives' side, demand abnormal custody over the children, or punish their wives by withholding the get. It is important to note that there is no downside to signing the prenup. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain. Since the prenup has been instituted it has had a one hundred percent success rate. May we never need it.